Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Treatment: First Draft

After being separated from his friends after the terrorist attack, Darryl is detained by the DHS.  He goes through weeks of torture.  Every once and a while he hears his torturers hint at "the Plan" that is apparently on track.  One day after a brutal torturing where he is continuously beaten with a belt, one of his torturers stays behind and tells him of "the Plan".  The Plan refers to the fact that the DHS was behind the terrorist attack, and that they intend on creating a police state where citizens are stripped of their freedom and the top dogs of the DHS take advantage of their loss of individuality.  This dark knight, called Back Jauer, plans to sneak Darryl out of the prison and help him escape to freedom where he can reveal the evil plot of the DHS.  In the middle of the night, Back Jauer leads Darryl out of the prison and they head for Fisherman's Wharf.

Once they arrive at the Wharf they enter a submarine full of 20 or so men.  These men call themselves the Freedom Fighters, a small agency aware of the Plan concocted by the DHS.  Back Jauer explains to Darryl that he was under cover for the Freedom Fighters and infiltrated DHS intelligence.  He explains that the Freedom Fighters have been keeping tabs on Darryl's friend Marcus, and that his plan in taking down the DHS is flawed.  It is Darryl's job to make sure Marcus goes along with the Freedom Fighters' plan.

Safety is out of the question.  Darryl is constantly in danger.  The DHS is now aware that they were infiltrated by the Freedom Fighters.  After taking out the Freedom Fighters, Darryl, Back Jauer and Marcus are the only ones who know the evils the DHS plan to carry out.

The last scene takes place on the docks of Fisherman's Wharf as DHS officials stand in between Darryl and a helicopter with Jack Bauer at the helm, headed to the White House to rat out the DHS.

Treatment: First Draft

Darryl's Dad is typing on the Xnet to codename "O5@m@". Shot moves into the screen where their conversation is at a close up. "O5@m@: Is the bomb in place? W@rV3T69: Yes, it's been put on the BART O5@m@: Good, very is time for terror in America! W@rV3T69: This country needs to pay for what it's caused me..." [End of conversation] Shot transfers to a flashback of Darryl's dad being ordered to get terrorists in the war and having his entire troop killed in front of his eyes...all the while, Darryl's dad is narrating the events: "Why do I work for the other side? It all started when I was fighting back in the jungles of Nam some 14 miles outside the border. Them goons had me and my 43rd battalion cornered against some palms and they killed all my brothers, each and every one. So you know what I did? I lied there in the mud, in the rain and I cried. I tried to stifle my sobs but I barely could, I sat there in agonizing pain one bullet wound in the chest and the arm praying to God I would see my family again, that I could see my son. I haven't had a good nights sleep ever since. Everytime I close my eyes, them explosions come back and haunt me and this fucked up foreign policy of this fucked up nation. So now I do work for them [transfer to a shot of guys in Turbins] so this country can feel what I've felt." [Transition to scene of explosion with Marcus and friends and Darryl getting stabbed] Marcus: "No!!! Darryl is dead!!!] [Transition to scene with label "2 months later"] Darryl’s Dad is sitting on a couch crying, regretting everything he chose to do. The one reason that drove him to survive the war (his son) was now gone from his decision to betray the country that drove him to insanity. Struggling with all that has happened, Darryl’s dad reaches for a gun, brings it up to his head and pulls the trigger. The screen goes black and the title appears “A Vet’s Regrets”.
Lights turn on in the long halways of The Combine. Cut to closeup of Miller's face as he wakes up, then anorther to him going to do his daily share of "progress for the good of The Combine". During this there's a shaking and loud crashes (earthquake and broken walls). Turns out some of the citizens have seen the outside world, that is said to be radioactive still, for the first time in their lives. Miller find out that toby, his best friend, was present and they talk about what he saw. Toby says the outside world looked fine, if not better then fine. The next day all people who saw the outside and gone, and the leaders say they have been removed for medical reasons relating to the radiation they experienced. Miller isnt buying it, its all just too sketchy. He sneaks into the leaders only secotr of the building and hears that they have killed all those who realized the outside world is fine. The head leader is quoted, "I will not stand by and watch my children become savages addicted to drugs, violence, and permiscuity! We shall protect them from these evils! We will have order!" Miller realizes that to save the rest of the society he must get out and find help. He is caught, however sneaking back into the regular sector, but lies his way out of it. The clock begins, as they are on to him, and he must find a way out immediatly. he does so by coordinating other youths to have a dance party that will mask him sawing through the ventalation and geting out. Last scene Miller gets outside. cut to him a long way down a road in the wilderness when a police car slows as it pulls up to him and an officers voice is heard, "son are you alright?"


The lands were peaceful; pain and suffering were gone from the world until the ambitious queen gains power. Queen Carry Johnston comes into the possession of a power sword, offering ultimate power at the cost of a cold heart, ambitious and stupid she feels that she could never become a cold leader. Since her possession of the sword she has become an evil queen, burning villages, slaying masses, and putting the people on complete fear. A young noble warrior , unknown to many, a rogue, simply a protector of the people by the name of Marcus, stops a savage attack on a village, slaying all the beasts and monster the queen has sent to do her bidding. After witnessing this oppression Marcus goes to villages to gather the bravest, most epic men to fight back and put an end to this oppression. Yet no one is brave enough to take the stand. So Marcus marches, alone. Encounter after encounter, bloodshed after bloodshed, Marcus is victorious, yet become out manned and powered the further he marches. The people of the land hear of his victories, admire his courageous effort. After one battle with one of the big monsters of the queen Marcus suffers a devastating blow. Marcus remains victories yet again, however wounded heavily, he returns to the people and the people treat Marcus. When Marcus is healed he gets up and starts to walk back to the queen. The people tell him not to leave, to stay, without a word Marcus looks back and stares at the women and children, and marches on. On his way back to the castle he encounters a large group full of archers, cursed knights and evil beasts. He knows that this will be his last battle. He fights fearlessly, killing foe after foe, then feels a sharp pain in his leg, and an arrow was stuck in his thigh. He falls to the ground still fighting off and killing all his enemies in his reach. And then another arrow straight in his back. He knows this is the end of his life. The leader of this mob walks up to Marcus, and prepares to deliver the fatal blow, and just then an arrow flies from over the hill. Marcus looks over the hill and valiant warriors that have heard of his courageous strive to the queen have gathered in multitudes to help his fight.

Treatment, First Draft.

Marcus sits in a hotel room on a bed with his head resting in his hands which are resting on his knees. His eyes twitch back and fourth slightly, his face conveys that his life is about to change forever. Ange comes out of the bathroom dressed in an elegant black dress, with jewelery to complete it. She looks puzzled at him and asks whats the matter. He remains silent. She sits down next to him and puts her arm around him and lays her head on his shoulder. She says, "This is what we have to do, it is time to end this all. We need to send a message out to all of the US citizens and people everywhere." Marcus mutters, "I know, its just that I am nervous". Ange says "Don't worry, just stick top the plan and it all work out fine, the escape route is fine and we have the element of suprise." Marcus says " You're right". He stands and says "Tonight we end this war, tonight we take back our country, tonight we send out a message to the public to take back control of our government, tonight we will kill the president..."
Marcus finishes dressing and he and Ange go down in front of the hotel where a limosene is waiting for them. They get in and head directly towards the gala. The plan was simple, a silenced gun had been planted earlier in the bathroom. All Marcus had to do was wait for the President to go to the bathroom, he had to the gala was 5 hours long, and take out teh president and his right hand man.
They arrived to the gala and verified that they on the guest list. They walked in and found their seats. The gala was uneventful, it was commemorating the Presidents decision to heighten security all around the nation and to celebrate his birthday. (Didn't finish ran out of time)

First draft Treatment

Who is Darryl?

The scene starts out as Darryl is planting the bombs underneath the Bay Bridge the night of the attack because he is an undercover agent for the Russians that want to finally take over the United States and commence war. It was a normal day in the San Francisco are and the four kids Marcus, Jolu, Vanessa and Darryl are trying playing their game Harujuku Fun Madness and they hear a loud explosion. They then try to escape on the BART out but one of Darryl's agents friend is in the crowd and stabs him only slightly so it would appear as if he was innocent in the process. They are all taken by the DHS to the island and are all interrogated. As all four of them are interrogated people by severe hair cut lady they find no use in Marcus, Van, and Jolu for answers but find Darryl suspicious. They torture him severely using water boarding techniques but Darryl a trained Russian Spy won't talk. Meanwhile outside of the Island where Marcus and Jolu and Van are all very worried about there friend and want to try to free him from the Island. Once they got to Darryl at the Island they free him legally from captivity but Darryl is very reluctant to get home. As Marcus uses the Xnet he finds some interesting clues on who was behind the attacks on the Bay Bridge and suspects Darryl might be behind the attack. When Marcus confronts darryl about the attacks darryl immediately denies it but when Marcus figures it out Darryl runs out of the house and disappears into San Francisco.

No Service Zone - First Draft

Marcus is captured by the DHS and is wrongly accused of being a terrorist as Little Brother portrays. He is gagged and has a bag over his head. The bag is lifted and he is in a cold room with only a table a two chairs. A woman with a severe haircut is starring him in the eyes with an unseen smile, a stern look, but a smirk hides underneath. She asks him to unlock his cell phone. At this point everything is running through Marcus' head. He cannot even comprehend such a simple question. She asks him again. He finally gets his bearings and asks every question that flies through his bruised, aching head until he runs out of breathe. "Where am I? Why am I hear? Who are you? What is this place? Where is my friend? Is he OK? She continues to look at him with that same unseen smile. Calmly she responds, "Unlock your phone, Marcus." He refuses, and she proceeds to explain that after he unlocks his phone, he is free to go. Marcus again runs through his laundry list of questions and is brought to his cell immediately.

This dance between severe haircut lady and Marcus continues for months. Every day Marcus is brought to the same room and interrogated by the same person and asked the same question over and over and over. Yes, Marcus has stuff to hide on that phone, but he knows those small little crimes would not put him in here. He is essentially innocent. But he can't unlock that phone. That phone represents everything his country used to be. That phone has become more than him, more than his life. Unlocking that phone would be condemning everything this country stands for. Between these meetings Marcus is beaten and treated like an animal. One meal a day. Locked in a cell the size of a large closet day in and day out. Day light seems like a distant memory.

One night, he is told he has a visitor. It is the very same lady he meets with every single day, but this is the first time he has seen her outside of that cave-like room. She asks him why he is doing what he is doing. She knows he is clearly not a terrorist, but she can't let him go until he unlocks that phone. He explains to her his patriotic motivations, and while she respects and admires them, he finds them utterly foolish. The next day he is brought to the interrogation room where he is met by severe haircut lady again, but that unseen smile is gone. It has become a sympathetic frown underneath the same stern exterior. She continues with her interrogations like this every day.

One night she comes to his room, but this time, there was no announcement by a guard. She clearly isn't supposed to be here. She explains she is getting him out and that it is his responsibility to explain what has been happening here. There then is a thrilling escape scene, in which guns are drawn and severe haircut lady is hit. There is not time for a good bye or a dramatic monologue. There is just a look or an understanding of gratefulness thrown her way as the bullets continue to fly by Marcus’ head.

He escapes and exposes the DHS. Laws are passed to lessen the power government has over its civilians. Marcus never knew severe haircut lady’s name, and never will. She will only be a memory, but a strong memory at that.

Treatment First Draft

[A very professional, unpersonal office inside of a rundown yet overly cleaned jail]
Ange and Severe Hair Cut Lady have a private meeting in an office. Ange tells SHCL to tell Marcus "Operation Seduction." SHCL hesitates but leaves the room anyways. Marcus is released from his cell looking malnourished and with urine stains all over the pants of his jumpsuit. Severe Hair Lady sits Marcus down in an interrogation room. She tells Marcus (with no emotion) that Ange is a double agent working for the DHS. SHCL smirks and leaves the room. Marcus does not believe her and thinks that SHCL is just messing with his head. He sits and ponders/freaks out for a while. That is when Ange walks into the room. Marcus runs to hug her and hold her and ask her how she possibly got in there, forgetting about SHCL. Then his heart drops into his stomach as Ange smiles a vicious smile he is not used to. He realizes that she is no longer dressed in teenage punk rock clothes but rather in professional and military-esque pant suit. He backs up against the wall in fear, not able to grasp what just happened. When Ange knows that Marcus has learned the truth she leaves the room.
[Ange's memory]
[Ange is walking down the street of a city or residential area. Either chaos or extreme quiet on the streets]
A flashback of Ange's starts to play. San Francisco, the city that Ange has grown up in has just been attacked by terrorists.
[Ange's house is pleasant from the outside, but upon entering the once immaculately clean home is a war zone with food and garbage and evidence of destruction all over]
Through the crowded streets Ange rushes home to find her baby brother alone, father drinking himself in his sorrows, and learns her mother died in the attack. She goes haywire and decides to single handedly find those responsible for the attack. Eventually, although her efforts were unsuccessful, the DHS catches up with her and recruits her to work for them. She is told to work as a double agent and catch those rebellious teenagers on the Xnet responsible for the attacks. The screen will go back to present and show Ange with the same creepy smile on her face and show the look of horror on Marcus' face in the background as he tries to sort through his revelation and try to find a way out of Gitmo-by-the-Bay.

Treatment 1st draft: Darryl's POV

My story takes the point of view of Darryl, Marcus' best friend, during his time trapped in jail with the DHS.

The story starts out with Darryl waking up alone in his room, dazed and confused about where he is. He's injured and hurt because of his accident when the sirens went off. From here Darryl has sporadic flashbacks of what has happened; the sirens wailing, the millions of people running, getting stabbed, and his friends and him getting captured by the DHS.

As he recalls all of these memories, he starts crying realizing that he's alone and hurt with none of his friends around. From here, the severe haircut lady calls him out and brings him to the interrogation room. There he experiences his first interrogation with no torture because he is injured. They ask him many questions about his friends and why he was on the street at the time of the accident. Darryl can't recall exactly what happened, but he tells them why they weren't in school in the first place, and then remembers that Marcus is the reason all of this has happened to him. He begins to feel feelings of anger towards Marcus, but then goes through various flashbacks reminding him of his life long friendship with him. He then gets interrogated by the severe haircut lady and decides to protect Marcus and his friendship.

He later on develops a friendship with a fellow prisoner named Zeb. Together they devise a plan to escape their jail. However, Darryl gets left behind and only Zeb makes it out.

Treatment First Draft


A huge explosion sounds signaling the end of the Bay Bridge's life. Smoke begins to fill the streets of downtown San Francisco and Masha finds herself face down on the concrete. Next thing she knows, two beefy hands are grabbing her around the shoulders, lifting her up and another pair of hands are shoving a bag over her head and zipties around her wrists. She's thrown into the back of what seems to be an armored truck. As Masha lays there she hears, a cold, female voice speaking somewhere in the back of the truck, but she's too disoriented to locate where exactly the voice is coming from. The voice is the last things she remembers before she blacks out. Flash forward to a month later. Masha is now positioned at a desk with an elaborate computer set up in front of her. Other people her age are working around her and a stern, young woman is watching them from inside a doorway. This is the Terrorist Tracking (TT) wing of the DHS building in San Francisco. Masha is the head of the TT wing and is responsible for locating all of the self named "XNetters" and turning them in to the DHS. After Masha was kidnapped by the DHS, they managed to convince her to join "their side" and help them prevent another terrorist attack from happening. It took a few days without food, some slaps across the face, and a few bladder problems to get her to agree, but the DHS finally got her. She proved to be an equitable asset to the DHS, tracking down numerous big-name teens who were responsible for planning against eh DHS. However, Masha has her own ideas about what her job at the DHS entails. Lately, she's been using coded emails to get in touch with the head honcho himself - Marcus Yallow. Together, along with Marcus's girlfriend Ange, they've been devising various ways in which to screw over the DHS and eventually blow the lid off of what the DHS did to them and many other citizens of San Francisco. Masha, Marcus, and Ange manage to plan the one event that will completely throw off the DHS and open up the perfect opportunity for the lid to be blown except for one thing.. Ange is also an undercover DHS agent. And one who cares more about catching "criminals" like Marcus and Masha than encouraging freedom and privacy for all.


It is mayhem on a street in San Francisco. The Bay Bridge has just exploded and people are frantically running and screaming. A man is calling out for his son, Marcus. He keeps screaming and screaming and screaming--until he wakes up. George finds his son Marcus and his wife Patricia around his bed, consoling him after his bad dream. Marcus has been back for a couple of weeks now, but George is still having terrible dreams about what he thought had happened to his son who had been missing for a few days after the terrorist attack on the bridge. He goes through his new routine to getting to work, which entails passing through security checkpoints, metal detectors, and ID checks, as he narrates the events that led up to this occurrence. Back at home, he finds that Marcus has been suspended from school for talking back to a teacher in a class discussion. Marcus and George end up getting into an argument about the security measures and the government, each holding his own stubborn views. Marcus tells his dad he doesn't even know the whole truth. George ponders what his son meant by that for the rest of the night. Later while he is trying to sleep, Marcus approaches him and tells him the whole story of what the DHS did to him. George is shocked and upset and decides that the story must be revealed. They prepare to take the story to a family friend journalist.

Treatment 1st Draft

The story begins with life forms from another planet talking with the leaders of the Eastern countries on the aliens planet. The conversation is centered around America. The aliens and Earth leaders are discussing how America's citizens are the only people who exercise their democracy, worship differently, and act on tragedies differently. These aliens and the people of the eastern world agree that America must be attacked and taken over in order for every country of every world of every planet in the galaxy to live the same, because that is how it always was until 1776. So the east attacks the U.S.A multiple times and holds many citizens hostage. What the citizens of America think is the DHS is really the life forms of the other planet making it seem as if they are trying to help when really they are helping the terrorists. This is where we meet the protagonist, who we will call Marcus for now. Marcus, along with his two closest friends, work tirelessly to figure out why all of this chaos is happening.
A few weeks after the last attack, the "DHS" is still patrolling the U.S.A. Marcus is ready to give up is search when he accidentally intercepts a letter written in a language he has never seen before. Using technology, he decodes the letter and finds out that it was from the terrorists in the Middle East to the aliens. The letter discussed a top secret plan which involved assassinating the president and taking over the entire U.S. government. Marcus decides to write back himself in the aliens name telling the terrorists that the plan will be executed in the near future. Marcus then poses himself as a DHS member and finds a way to take them over.

This is a very rough idea, and I haven't figured out how a lot of this happens or how Marcus ends up winning for America. More details coming up in the future.

Treatment; First Draft;

Marcus is on a pay-phone speaking to someone in an arabic tone. He says,"mission complete, the DHS is out of the way." The man on the other end is speaking Arabic and the conversation ends with the subtitles "bring death to the infidels". The camera moves to a cave in Afghanistan where Osama Bin Laden is hanging up the phone on "@hm3d". There is a file next to him with Marcus's picture and next to it the codename @hm3d. Underneath details on his mission are written. Marcus, or @hm3d, is back at home on his computer searching "most populated area in Las Vegas". It is soon inferred that Marcus, or @hm3d, is in fact a terrorist. @hm3d is planning a dirty bomb attack against Las Vegas. The DHS needed to be out of the way so that @hm3d and a crew of Islamic extremists could move about with being questioned and caught by the DHS. In the midst of planting the explosives around Las Vegas, @hm3d realizes that even if he carries out the attack, Bin Laden will not risk having an asset who knows his whereabouts in the states. @hm3d realizes he will be killed after the attack, and quickly sabotages the plot against the U.S., confesses to the government his involvement with Al Qaeda, but quickly works out a deal to save himself and give up Bin Laden's whereabouts. @hm3d, who is now Marcus again, proceeds to live a quiet life as a computer programmer.

Treatment: First Draft

Act 1:
Marcus and gang are walking around using his Phone to find a Wifi hot spot. In the background the Bay bridge is collapsing as a loud bomb echos throughout new your.They end up running towards the train station as load speakers broadcast the attack. In the crowded streets Darryl is stabbed. He lays their gasping for air. As the people are slowly dispersing Marcus goes into a panic trying to get help. Patrol cars and firetrucks are zooming by. Marcus jumps out on the street fearless because of all the adrenaline. At the last second he comes to his senses and all he can do is shut his eyes in terror.

Act 2:
Marcus opens his eyes. Amazed by his luck and remembering that Daryl is dying he yells out for help. Armed men come out of the car and place a sac on his head and pulls him away. He regains his vision when he is in the back of a truck. Asking about Daryl only provokes the guards to bash him over the head with the butt of the gun. He lays there until he is eventually taken to a jail cell.

Act 3:
The scenes are becoming more jumpy. Scenes are flashing in and out. We see the scene where he talks to the DHS lady. They talk about his phone and about Daryl. She denies him any rights etc.. He is brought back to his cell. Flashes to him unlocking his phone and being let free. Flashes to XNet and operation false positive. Flashes to circle of friends. Flashes to going to his parents and the press. Flashes to the Vamp mob. Flashes to him being back in the jail cell. He is now being taken back out to be tortured. As he is being drowned his tears mix with the water. When the police bust in and save him. All he can say is where are his friends.

Act 4:
His eyes open from the point of view of Marcus. He sees lights. He is with Ange. There they talk about how he became a terrorist. (quotes will be taken from the book). He talks to Ange saying how he is happy that everything was for a good cause.He is happy to be with her and is happy that Daryl is okay and that all his friends were able to survive this hell. He smiles and cries because he is overjoyed. Scene slowly fads out to darkness.

Act 5:
The scene is a hospital. Marcus is laying in the hospital bed. His parents are by his side. Marcus lying there hooked up to machines. On his face he has a smile and is crying. The doctor gives a disapproving nod. Marcus' parents cry. Scene goes into darkness. Green lines (hospital heartbeat) it comes to a straight line and a long beeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Treatment First Draft

"Operation Black Bay"

It's two years since Marcus was freed from the DHS, and he gets a message over the still existing Xnet. The sender claims to be an important governmental figure who needs help to overcome the DHS again. Marcus becomes interested although he knows he shouldn't be, and responds asking how the sender wants help and what the DHS is doing. The sender replies that the DHS leaders have a plot to asassinate the president and take over, turning the country back into a military state. Marcus is shocked and decides to help right away. The sender gives him somewhere to wait in the city to meet up, and when Marcus arrives there, a towncar is waiting for him. He gets into the towncar and it drives him to a secret tunnel that leads under the Bay, and into a hidden safehouse. When he is finally greeted in the safehouse, Marcus is shocked to find out that the sender is the President of the United States himself.
Marcus and the President form a plan to infiltrate the DHS's system and find out what the exact assasination plan is so they can expose the DHS to the media, and the President can formally accuse them of treachery. Marcus hacks into the system and as they search they do not find anything. They are disappointed and decide to give up when suddenly Marcus falls upon a plan in the system called "Operation Black Bay". As they read the plan, they discover that the attack is planned for later that day, on the fortress under the bay. Suddenly one of the secret service members bursts in and tells them they are under attack and they need to take a secret exit out. They climb up the secret exit straight into a submarine that is on the bottom of the bay. Marcus has a chip that has the DHS's plan on it and goes straight to Barbara who is now a billionare for her first story about the DHS. They publish it and the President proves that the DHS was trying to kill him.

treatment first draft- fat man

Charles the the fat annoying tattle tail who is Marcus's arch enemy, is secretly a crime fighting vigilante. his main enemy is the of course the DHS because he knows they re actually secret terrorists and they are the ones that set off the bombs on the bridge. he has to keep his cover in school so he plays the kid no one likes when secretly he admire Marcus for everything he does and is himself an X netter. unfortunetly for charles he is quite out of shape making his heroics difficult for him and humorous for the rest of us. he is the epitome of the lovable loser, so basically any role that will farrel plays. in the end he over comes his dorky clumsiness and is actually responsible for taking out the DHS(not sure about this part yet either) but he lets Marcus take the glory. not exactly sure how yet, but he definitely gets a girl some time during this too.

Treatment First Draft - Marcus' Father's Little Secret

The bombs go off, and Marcus' father's life changes forever. While at work, he is forced to evacuate as his colleagues run out screaming in terror. His running is stopped as he's pulled by the neck by a man in dark clothes and dark rimmed glasses. Marcus's father is thrown into a big truck, and he has a bag over his head. Once it's lifted, he regains his sight and notices other adults around him in the same conditions as he.

Mr. Yallow, you will comply with the United States of America.

What's going on?

You are now working for the United States of America in the fight against terrorism. If you wish to refuse, then you will never see your family.

Yes sir. I'll do anything.

*Present time
(sob) I can't believe he's gone,....he's...dead...
(crying) I...I know...

(thinking) I only have to fake this for so much longer, soon enough she will get over it. She can't know what I did...or who I've become.

(Later on)
Mr. Yallow goes on to sabotage all of Marcus' efforts. Marcus has no clue that his dad is working for the DHS. He still struggles and fights with his father on the issue of rights and specifically privacy. Once Marcus finally tells his father what happened to him, Mr. Yallow doesn't take him to see Barbara, but instead, he takes him to severe hair cut lady to be put away for good.

treatment (first draft) Rebel turns nerdy

After Marcus was captured by the DHS, he was brainwashed so that he wouldn't remember anything that they did to him. The next morning he wakes up in his room and goes to school, just like any other school day. When he arrives at school, Darryl meets up with him in the locker hall. Eagerly, Darryl reminds Marcus about how excited he is to ditch class and play in the infamous Harajuku scavenger hunt. Marcus puzzledly looks at Darryl and asks him what that is. Darryl is very confused because just yesterday, Marcus was ranting about the scavenger hunt more than he was. They continue with the rest of the day, without ditching school. Marcus immediately goes home to start on his homework. Darryl is still confused about Marcus' strange behavior, so he meets up with Van and Julu to discuss why Marcus is acting so weird.

Through other sources, they realize that Marcus has been brainwashed by the DHS. They told Marcus that he had been brainwashed, but of course, he doesn't believe them. For the rest of the film, they try to remind Marcus of his passion for Xnet and computer technologies. Marcus has a extremely hard time trying to understand why all of his friends are acting "weird" and why they are pushing all this weird cyber hacking on him. In one of the attempts to get Marcus to remember his true passion, Darryl makes Marcus look inside of his computer and makes him rewrite the whole device so that it functions differently. Marcus doesn't understand why Darryl is making him do this, but he proceeds with the task anyways. After working on the computer for 9 hours, night has come and he has a revelation. In the midst of connecting two wires together, all sorts of images comes back to his mind about Xnet, his Harajuku adventures and hacking his schoolbook. He immediately calls Darryl and tells him that he does remember everything, including what the DHS did to him. The film ends when Marcus and all of his friends reuinte and they formulate a plan to get back at the DHS.


After looking at the many different machinimas, there were a lot of things that I liked. I saw the very dramatic “addiction” Machinima that , through my interpretation was about Marcuses addiction to rebelling against authority. In the machinima he mentions that he bets and bets for what? That he may possibly not only lose his money but his everything, as his girlfriend is walking out on him. I also like how they incorporated the crackdown in the machinima. That he had to go all in before he lost his chance.

I got really sidetracked in all the links in some of the videos. I am a moderate gamer, ex moderate gamer, and I found the machinimas about the game World of Warcraft very amusing, only because it is one of the best games in the world. There were so many remixes of absolutely every subject. There were a couple of popular songs that were actually quite clever. It was really nice because I had knowledge about everything that was going on, like the different settings, props, terms, actions, and expressions.

After watching the different videos a few , actually a large amount of ideas started popping into my head. One idea is using the all the world of war craft characters, settings , creatures, epic two handed swords, epic daggers, epic staffs ,epic shoulders etc., to try to portray Marcuses fight to stand up for what he wants and believes in. With the large amount of knowledge I have of the game play, I was thinking about having one courageous guy with epic gear all around with one mission, to kill the Frost King Arthas (symbolizing the home land security). Prior to ever actually getting to Arthas , he must pass through small feats (representing all the little takes Marcus makes to retaliate against the DHS), in this part he will go through a raid or a dungeon fighting against numerous amounts and a large variety of different creatures . Eventually his all-around “epicness” can only go so far, so he begins to build an army. This large raid group comes together and kills the raid boss ( the DHS). Another idea that I thought of was simply using the story line of the Matrix. The agents would represent the DHS and Neo would represent Marcus. I think the hall way seen in the first movie would be a lot of fun to do because there would be so much action and effects.

script ideas and analysis

Having read scripts before, I was not shocked by the different kind of writing that is used as some other may have been. I feel like to modeling that writing style it is important to divide the writing into two groups, the technical aspects and the dialogue. In the first case you must focus on minute details that will contribute stage direction, actions, and camera control. These facets take a technical writing style that is substantially different than any style that students are typically told to write. This is a common thread with the second writing that will be incorporated, dialogue. Writing a dialogue is different from other types of writing because, like a speech, you are writing spoken words. This can be difficult because often words come out differently when spoken, than when they are written. It is often helpful in these scenarios to speak the words as they are being written.

Thus far I have had little time to develop any script ideas for the impending project. I have thought of a couple rough sketches for topics to run with, however. One being a sort of remix of the movie The Village, in which a group of people live in a seemingly pre industrial village that is in fact just secluded from the rest of the 21st century. My remix of this story would involve just children being razed in a building that they would be taught is the last structure standing after a nuclear fallout. The people in the building wouldn’t be able to leave or communicate with the outside world, and in the end they would be able to escape and realize that they were mislead. The administration would be overly strict and have an almost religious feeling that they were protecting the buildings inhabitants. When they got to a certain age people would be moved to different sectors and given specific work to do. It would all have a very Stepford feel and would encompass other details from little brother.

I believe this theme that the administration is overly protective of its people is one that can be adopted in many ways and hope to use it in my project if possible. Many scripts and movies have been made with this as a theme and I believe I could learn a lot about the camera angles and dialogue from studying those scripts and movies. It will help to have a similar idea to an already made movie because then professional strategies can be adopted.

Machinima Review and Proposal

My biggest inspiration among the screenplays was probably the Pulp Fiction screenplay. Pulp Fiction is such an iconic movie and an original idea, but it would be nothing without the attention to detail provided by the script. I like how it jumps right into it. The reader is left in the dark a little bit in the beginning. They have to catch up to the conversation. It’s a very natural conversation, but it makes you wonder where it is leading. The first scene sets the tone for the rest of the film and helps to make it such a great movie.

Another great screenplay is the Back to the Future screenplay. What I most respect about this one is that the attention to detail is even more significant because exact scenes get revisited. There cannot be any changes to the setting or scenery, yet the characters need to have different responses to the same situations. This movie, more than most, needs to tie in many aspects from the beginning to the end. They also had to write it assuming it would make enough money to have a sequel, which was pretty bold, but turned out to be extremely successful.

Groundhog Day is similar to Back to the Future in that it needs to repeat many scenes, but more so than back to the future does this movie need to maintain the basis of each scene. It needs to start out the exact same way, but must be redone completely. It’s not like Back to the Future in that it can be the exact same cut shown over again. It’s also interesting how it describes the main character, because there is so much depth to him. The scenery is crucial because that is one of the main things that get at the main character.

After reading these screenplays along with a few others and the videos, I have an idea of how I would like to present my screenplay. The specific idea is not quite developed yet, but so far it is a remake of the whole captivity part of the book. I want to have the events play out the same way, but almost overplay the character’s actions to kind of mock how they handle the situation. I don’t want to just do this to Marcus, but rather to all of the characters involved in those chapters, because I feel like they all acted in strange ways, and I want to portray how I interpreted the situation.

Machinima and Screen Idea

For the various machinimas that I watched, I did enjoy them thoroughly. I watched the Machinima channel on YouTube. My favorite ones were the SpongeBob and Sean Connery play Black Ops. For the SpongeBob one, I enjoyed the many SpongeBob references and the spontaneity of the whole sequence of events. The small children that were playing the game who got mad were by far my favorite. And as the video went on, the kids kept getting madder and madder. All together, the SpongeBob video was fun to watch. For the Sean Connery video, I enjoyed the allusions to his movies and impersonations of him by using the word Junior after everything. It was quite hilarious. For the screen write that I decided to download, I chose the Little Miss Sunshine screen write to read. I have seen the film before and can say that the director did a great job transferring from the screen play to the screen. As I was reading the script, I felt that I could actually visualize the characters and their actions all in my head. As for the casting, since I have seen the movie, the characters made a great transition from paper to the screen. The characters of the screen did a wonderful job of representing the characters on the paper.
For my screen idea I was thinking of doing something like the Black ops ones that I viewed. I did enjoy the humor of it all and think that I could definitely put some funny voice acting and references into my screen idea. Maybe I could do a remake of the concert in the park. I could show the people getting shot by the police with actual guns. I want to have some violence in my video but I am not sure if Second life can show any violence in it. I could also do a Machinima about how the citizens are fighting a war against the police and are literally fighting eachother. Again I am not sure if Second Life will allow me t do such things. Or I could go the completely different direction and do a spoof of Little Brother. Possibly I could do a spoof of the hackers causing the government to look like a fool, almost satirical. I am not sure about this though. I would definitely like some humor in my screen play and violence, maybe like Inglorious Basterds. Sort of Quinton Tarintinoesq. I love that dark humor and I think that it would be awesome in second life.

Machinima reflectiton and Story Pitch

While looking at some machinima examples, there were two videos that caught my attention: Grand Theft Mario and Mortal Kombat. What impressed me with Grand Theft Mario was the many different camera angles used. The video basically was a Grand Theft Auto character jumping from one roof of a building to the other with a Mario themed outfit and Mario themed music. While the video was quite simplistic, it acted as a good example for me to follow in my own machinima. There were multiple camera angles used, most of which were carefully chosen to make the jumps of the main character seem more extreme. In my machinima, I will choose my camera angles to add suspense to the scene.

The Mortal Kombat video was much more clever. I enjoyed watching it because it was a good idea to fight characters from the actual game with characters from other games. Unlike Grand Theft Mario, it had only one camera angle, but was just as enjoyable to watch because of the idea. This particular video proved to me that if an idea for a video is clever enough, the special effects can be simple while maintaining a video that people will want to watch.

For my machinima I would like to combine the best parts of my two favorite videos I found on As far as my story idea goes, I am thinking about portraying the general storyline of Little Brother in a humorous way like the Grand Theft Mario video does. For example, the scene in the novel when the DHS kidnaps the group of four kids for the first time is a scene I would consider remixing. I would attempt to add in some humorous dialogue between the kids and DHS. It appears that one way to make a successful machinima is to alter the original mood of the original source which is being remixed. I will try to do this in my machinima.