Remix Revision

Verse 1:
Yo Marcus Yallow 's not your ordinary kid
Dealin with computers is what he did
Till the DHS came and tracked him down
They humiliated him, made him feel like a clown
They took away his privacy, put him to shame
He couldn't take it anymore, but he had no one to blame
His privacy was a sanctuary of sorts
And now he no longer has the luxury of being alone

Chorus 1:
Privacy is a sense of safety
Marcus hasn’t experienced it lately,
It is knowing that you are secure
Without knowing what others endure
Privacy is a necessity and a right
Which is intended to bring peace
But once this right is violated
Opportune moments are difficult to seize.

Verse 2:
Now Marcus doesn't even know who to trust
His friends all though "it's all over for us"
And Marcus didn't think that the trust was out there
He couldn't find the right people that he could share
His secrets and his thoughts, his feelings and more
But then this girl Ange came knockin on his door
She showed him that without trust you fall
And Marcus realized that people could be trusted after all

Chorus 2:
Trust is the glue of a relationship
With trust people become wealthy
It must be dealt with cautiously
For a relationship to stay healthy
Trust is blind, trust is deaf
Trust cannot be seen
But trust is something that is real
And lives in harmony

Verse 3:
Marcus then fell in love with this girl
To him she meant the entire world
Those two together helped win the struggle
They did it for everyone, but mostly for each other
Yes it's true people died in the terrorist attack
And the mourning family members will never get them back
But love was resurrected by these two young folks
And that alone is enough to give an entire city hope

Chorus 3:
Love is joy and sorrow
Love is up and down
Love is a sinking ship
Than can be turned around
Love is natural, love is pure
With love we have hope
With love comes peace and happiness
Which is what the world needs the most

I had originally just written a three verse poem for my remix, but i decided to add three more verses which were less abstract. I felt in my original poem (the three choruses) I hadn't captured how the themes became present in the story. With the added verses I clear that issue up. I also have decided to make the long poem into a song, with the verses being rapped and the choruses being sung. I haven't come up with music or found someone who can rap well yet, but when I do I believe I have created an A project, which it was not before the revision. The themes of Privacy, Trust, and Love were in my opinion three of the dominant themes in the story, and my poem hopefully demonstrates how the themes were portrayed in the story, as well as how they generally affect people in the real world.